What to do when your child wants to give up

5 Sept

Let’s play a game!

Name one personality trait that you’ll find in every single superhero…ready, set, GO!I Bet a lot of awesome stuff comes to mind, because heroes come in all shapes and sizes. Some are shy and some are smart. Some are girls and some are boys. Some are small and some are HUGE…some are even GREEN!

But do you know one thing that ALL superheroes share?They persevere!

You certainly can’t battle fire breathing dragons and save the world without perseverance.

Batman is a perfect example! He tirelessly fights the war on crime even though he knows the battle is endless. He PERSEVERES because he knows what a super sweet superhero trait it is to have perseverance.

So what does perseverance mean to your kids? To persevere simply means that whenever your kiddo faces a challenge, they can use their mind and body to work through difficulties and overcome.

Where there’s a will, there’s a way!

One of the first ways our children learn perseverance in when they learn to walk.

In the beginning, they are completely immobile. Eventually they gain the strength in their chubby little limbs to roll themselves over. Next comes crawling.

After countless attempts at standing on their own feeties and so very many tumbles, they stand!!!

They’re up!

And before you know it…they have become turbocharged little beasts zooming all over the place on two feet! Wah-lah!

Now that is true perseverance!

Another great example is learning to colour inside the lines. So much work goes into making sure all those big, bright colours stay put!

But like many fabulous things in this life, perseverance doesn’t come easy. So what do you do when your child wants to give up?

Enter determination.

You gotta have moxie!

You gotta have grit!

There are a lot of ways you can encourage your child to incorporate perseverance into their daily struggles. Just like teaching your child to own their own behaviour or be responsible around the house, leading by example is huge!

Always make sure your actions are modelling behaviour you want your child to have in their toolbox.

Here are some other essential tips to helping your child overcome issues with super-perseverance capabilities!

Remove Emotion

Being able to step back and look at a situation without overwhelming emotions attached to it is powerful! If your child is angry and frustrated because they just can’t get that darn shoe tied, take a moment to allow them some space to pause and calm down before scolding those wiley shoelaces!

Talk it over

“Hey, Charlie. Here’s a fun little rhyme to help you remember how to tie your shoes. If you hold the laces right here, it helps them to stay tied tight!” Talking through the problem will help to erase confusion and give the child the confidence to move forward with the process in a calm and educated way.

Identify Patterns

Look for patterns that can help to speed up the process of working through problems. If little Suzie tends to get nervous when she rides her bike over cracks in the sidewalk, find a way to help her practice getting rid of her fear surrounding that pattern. Once she feels better about those cracks, she can persevere towards getting those pesky training wheels removed! Yay!

The Power of Yet

Yet. For a tiny little word, it sure packs some punch! There is so much power in knowing that there is still time to figure it out and get it right. 'Yet' opens up a whole new world of doing better and trying harder. The word 'yet' really says, 'I believe!' Add ‘Yet’ to the end of any can’t phrases your little darling says and soon, they will be doing the same.

Decision Making

Let your child problem solve! You can do this with minimal guidance to resources or information that will allow them to make their own decision, but all grow in the process. Empowering your kids with their own choices gives your child the ability to decide how to tackle that trouble! By allowing them to shift their focus to what they need to work on and improve, you give them a great big shot at success!

Celebrate Victory!

All this awesomeness can't be all work and no play, right!? When your child has shown maturity and super-power perseverance, they deserve to be rewarded!

A suitable reward (physical, something they have been working towards or an acknowledgement) for their tenacity and spunk will help cement drive in their vault of successful growth mindset treasures.

It’s normal for kiddos to want to give up as they get older and start seeing that some people can do things more easily than they can. They can’t recollect those baby days when they spent hours, days and months learning to walk and talk. It’s up to us adults to help them through the process and build the lifelong skill of perseverance.

Watch my video below for examples and simple tips to help your kiddos learn the art of perseverance when they get frustrated and want to give up.