Own It! How To Stop Your Child Blame Shifting
Okay, Parents….tell me true. Have you ever had something like this happen? Your kiddo is building with their blocks. The blocks are teetering big time. Finally, the weight of the haphazard blocks are heading south! As they fall to the ground….you feel like shouting timmmmbeeerrrr!!! Your darling mini-you turns to the closest breathing being and states, ‘Look what YOU did!? YOU made my blocks fall down!’Or maybe they have said something like this?
Johnny did it!
I didn’t do it! It was Cathy’s fault!
Leave me alone!
It wasn’t my fault!
I can’t help it.
What is Blame Shifting?
Blame shifting is a common occurrence, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay. It’s important to make sure our children are holding themselves accountable. Accepting responsibility for our actions is an awesome trait to conquer.
So let’s nurture this in our kiddos while they’re malleable and able to appreciate what we have to offer. Passing the buck, playing the blame game and not taking responsibility are all traits that we don’t want to encourage in our children.
These are all examples of trying to give someone else the blame for our actions or our responsibility. All of this shows how easy it is to shift blame…and that’s NOT something we want to encourage in our little protégés!
Why Does Blame Shifting Matter?
We know our kids aim to please. They are tiny little examples of what they think we will approve of. When they please us…we give them our attention, right?
When we’re able to nourish their positive responses, it creates an environment where children are not whiners. They don’t try to negotiate. They don’t entertain self-pity! Instead, they are awesome little human beings who make meaningful choices and accept responsibility for their actions…regardless of the consequences.
How awesome is that!? It’s SO AWESOME!! This is super important. Kids don’t want to disappoint us. If we can impart critical skills like this at a young age, they will be sure to carry these important traits on into adulthood.
When we allow passivity, it encourages poor personality traits instead of encouraging ownership. If they can OWN their behaviour, it will empower them to problem solve, instead of giving excuses.
Humility and ownership of issues are SUPER-human qualities….these are the skills they need to become heroes of their own universe!! Bring on the super powers! Let’s EMPOWER our children instead of enabling them.
What About My Parenting?
You remember how I said your actions affect your kiddos? Well this is ALWAYS the case…big time! Remember that they are little suction cups to your attitude, emotions and personality traits. Did you blame someone else in traffic? What about your spouse? Is it someone else’s fault the sink is full of dishes or the laundry isn’t done?
Kids are GIANT sponges, so pay attention to who you blame! If you are actively blame shifting, you will need to see your part in what happened and start implementing neutral statements and taking realistic responsibility for your own actions. Your children will follow your example!
4 Steps To Helping Your Child Be More Responsible For Their Actions
Xo Lisa oX
TL;DR?
Find out about blame shifting. Read the blog here
Watch the video with Quick Tips on stopping your child from blaming others.
